


Demon's Food Cake

by KaytheJay



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-02-23 04:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23972173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytheJay/pseuds/KaytheJay
Summary: Aziraphale teaches Crowley to bake but it gets a little out of hand.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 11





	Demon's Food Cake

“Aziraphale I really don’t understand why you do this. You can just miracle these pastries into existence. Why do you insist on baking them?” Crowley said. Aziraphale could only smile.  
“Because it is more fun this way,” Aziraphale said, pulling ingredients from their cupboard. He set them out on the counter and thought for a moment before turning back and grabbing more. He continued this process until every single thing that was sitting in their cupboard was now on their counter. Crowley sighed.  
“Aziraphale, this is such a mess. Just miracle it up. It’s easier.” Aziraphale shook his head.  
“It’s easier but less fun.” He said. “Now, Crowley, get out some bowls.” Crowley shook his head.  
“I am not getting out any bloody bowls.” He snapped his fingers and miracled a cake. “Look how easy that was, Aziraphale.” Aziraphale snapped his fingers and the cake caught fire.  
“Oops,” Aziraphale said. He put the fire out and tossed the cake in the trash. “My bad.” Crowley sighed.  
“Fine. Teach me how to bake.” Aziraphale clapped his hands and found the biggest bowl they owned.  
“What do you want?” Aziraphale asked. “I can do cakes, macarons, cookies, breads-”  
“Whatever you want to do, Aziraphale. I’m not going to eat them.” Aziraphale sighed.  
“Crowley,” He pouted. “Stop sucking the fun out of it.”  
“You sucked the fun out of it when you decided that you wanted to make a cake instead of ordering one or miracling it.” Aziraphale shook his head.  
“Please Crowley. Do this just once time for me. If you don’t like it I’ll never make you do it again.” Crowley sighed. He couldn’t be mad at the angel when he spoke like that.  
“Alright, fine,” Crowley said. “Teach me how to make cookies.” Aziraphale smiled, seeing as his little manipulation (it wasn’t a full temptation, he knew that would never work on Crowley) had worked.  
“What kind?” Aziraphale asked.  
“What kind does it-” Crowley caught himself being negative towards the activity and stopped himself. “Chocolate chip,” he said. He knew that Aziraphale was quite fond of that kind of cookie and just wanted to please him at that point. Aziraphale thought for a moment.  
“It seems we don’t have enough chocolate chips for that,” Aziraphale said, giving Crowley puppy dog eyes, hoping he would do the miracle himself rather than making Aziraphale do it. Crowley complied. Of course he would. This was, after all, for his angel. He didn’t want anything to do with the activity. Aziraphale smiled. “Alright, so the first thing you are going to want to do is set the stove. So that it warms up while we’re baking instead of us having to wait on it later.”  
Throughout the rest of the afternoon, Aziraphale led Crowley through the process of making cookies, forcing him to have an active role in the baking. Aziraphale loved watching Crowley struggle. There were a couple of times that Aziraphale had to perform a few miracles so that Crowley wouldn’t feel bad or anything because he made a stupid mistake (mistaking salt for sugar who does that? Crowley apparently). By the time the first batch of cookies was in the oven, it seemed that Crowley’s mask of hating the activity had melted.  
He, in fact, asked Aziraphale to teach him other things to bake. The angel loved baking. It was a little known fact about him. No one really knew just how much he liked baking. Not even Crowley did. Knowing that Crowley was enjoying the activity too was warming his soul. Besides, with all the extra baked goods, it would give them an excuse to visit Anathema and Newton. They were always happy to take in all of Aziraphale’s extra pastries.  
They spent much of the afternoon bent over various recipes for various pastries. Some were easy and required no miracles whatsoever to create. Especially now that Crowley was learning his way around the ingredients. Some required so many miracles to do that both Crowley and Aziraphale began to wonder how humans ever accomplished them without the help of miracles. Every other step in the process required some sort of miracle just to make sure the treats turned out properly. It was a miracle in and of itself that Crowley didn’t give up on those ones right then and there.  
As soon as one thing was out of the oven, the next thing went in. Or, if the recipe called for it, the temperature was reset. They used a miracle or two to make the process a bit faster between temperature switches simply because Crowley was not a patient demon. Though, most demons didn’t have virtues, so it made sense.  
Before they knew it, every surface that could have been covered with pastries was covered with pastries. Everything from cookies to cakes to breads and other desserts. By the time they’d put the last batch of cookies in and miracled everything to be cleaned up, it was nearly five in the morning. As they were supernatural beings, they didn’t need sleep, so this didn’t bother them so much.  
What bothered them was the fact that they had more stuff to give away than they had friends to give them away to. And in today’s day and age, you couldn’t just go up to anyone on the street and start passing out baked goods. That just wasn’t done. People would be afraid of drugs or something. But Aziraphale couldn’t very well let it all go to waste. He didn’t know what to do with it though. He very well couldn’t eat it all. Even the extras once their friends would have picked over it.  
“What if we hosted a party?” Aziraphale asked. Crowley shook his head.  
“What kind of party would we be able to host that would get rid of all this?” Aziraphale shrugged.  
“A party?” Crowley sighed.  
“Besides, who would we invite that we wouldn’t just give this stuff to anyway?” Aziraphale sighed.  
“You’re right,” He said. “But we very well can’t keep all of this.” Aziraphale smiled. “Oh! How about your demon friends? Would they like any of this?”  
“You did not just say that.”  
“What?” Aziraphale asked, genuinely unaware of what he might have done wrong.  
“What am I going to do? Call up ole Beelzebub and be like ‘yo Lord. Me and Aziraphale have spent the day baking and were wondering if you’d like some. Sorry for not dying in my holy water bath by the way.’ Seriously. Do you think that lot would take anything from us after that whole thing?” Aziraphale sighed.  
“No I suppose not.” He thought for a moment. “How about a bake sale. We could send the money off to some charity or-”  
“That’s not a terrible idea,” Crowley said. “Or maybe we don’t even give the money to charity. You could always use more books,” Crowley said.  
“Well I-”  
“And you’re always speaking of that leaky roof that you refuse to miracle away. With bake sale money you could hire a human to fix that for you.”  
“I suppose that keeping some of the money to ourselves wouldn’t hurt . . . “  
“It’s settled then!” Crowley said. “Bake sale it is. Let’s get this all packaged up and get ready for the show tomorrow.”  
“Tomorrow!” Aziraphale exclaimed. “Why there’s too much to do before tomorrow!” Crowley shook his head.  
“Nonsense,” he replied. Everyone in London already knows about it and we already have all of the legal documents to prove that it is quite alright.” Crowley held up a pile of documents that did, in fact, clear their names to sell their baked goods. “All we have to do is get everything packaged up and ready for tomorrow.”  
“What about-”  
“Anathema, Newton, Madame Tracy, and Shadwell?” Crowley asked. “Well they’re going to come here and take their pick before we open our doors bright and early tomorrow morning. What do you say angel?” Aziraphale smiled. It seemed that Crowley had already gotten everything taken care of.  
***  
That afternoon, none of their human friends could believe all of the desserts and breads they had to pick from. Anathema had expected only a little bit of a surplus. She hadn’t been expecting every surface to be covered.  
“What is all of this?” Anathema couldn’t help but ask in her shock.  
“I made Crowley learn how to bake and turns out he loves it more than I do,” Aziraphale beamed. “So you’re taking whatever you want and we are selling the rest of it.”  
“How did you even have-”  
“Miracles.” Crowley said. “Lots and lots of miracles.” Newton shook his head.  
“You two really are gay, aren’t you?” Aziraphale was the one to reply.  
“In human terms, I suppose you could say that,” Aziraphale said. “Though techincally speaking neither one of us have a gender, and you are basing that statement off of stereotypes that the gay community doesn’t particularly like because it can be harmful.” Aziraphale shrugged. “But yes. We baked. We baked a lot. And it is probably going to become a normal thing with how much Crowley enjoyed it.” Crowley nodded.  
“This is crazy you guys,” Anathema said. “There is no way you are going to get rid of all of this with one sale.” Aziraphale shrugged.  
“Maybe not,” Aziraphale replied. “But at least it will get our numbers down significantly. Hopefully we’ll get enough money to fix that pesky leak.”  
“Don’t you guys have magic or something,” Newton asked. “Why can’t you just magic the leak fixed?” Crowley shook his head.  
“You tell me,” Crowley replied. “I’ve tried using logic to talk to him about it but he won’t have any of it.” Anathema and Newton finished picking through the desserts, of course stooping to try all of them that they could, but taking with them at least one package of each baked good that they’d made. Once that was all said and done, Aziraphale made cocoa to share, though Anathema and Newton insisted that they’d already gotten cavities by just looking at the pile of sweets that Aziraphale and Crowley had left.  
Shadwell had tried to insist that they’d stolen the goods and were now trying to drug them, but Madame Tracy shut him down and took even more than Anathema and Newton did, all the while Shadwell was muttering about “that southern pansey” and how he could exorcize him off the face of the Earth if he wanted to, just by pointing at him. He had, after all, managed to do it before. He didn’t trust the business that the lot of them had running, but he decided against shooing Mr. Fell of the face of the Earth. Not out of the kindness of his heart but because he knew that Mr. Crowley would never be able to get rid of all of this stuff on his own.  
***  
Aziraphale set out a little table in front of his bookshop. Well, he set out multiple little tables. He’d been grateful that Anathema and Newton had offered to help them with the sales so that he himself could be more focused on book sales (or rather making sure no one was too tempted by any of them) and Crowley didn’t have to be in charge of everything. Aziraphale loved Crowley to bits, but he couldn’t even be trusted to make sure the Antichrist was in the right place. So why wouldn’t he mess this little thing up too? Getting the Antichrist in place was even less complicated than having to deal with sales and everything.  
Most people, as Aziraphale had hoped, had stayed out of the bookshop. Aziraphale never had really enjoyed it when people came into his collection. He only called it a bookshop to keep up appearances. He really didn’t like selling the books. He liked dealing with the people who would fight him for the books even less. The nerve some humans had was remarkable.  
Every once in a while, Aziraphale would go outside to check on things and make sure everyone was stocked up on all of their treats. They’d been able to get quite a lot on those tables, but not nearly everything. He would take the money in and switch it out as needed (switching the smallest bills and change for bigger bills if they needed that, taking the bigger bills out so they didn’t get robbed).  
The overall feel for the day seemed to be that the people loved their pastries. Of course, neither Aziraphale or Crowley had been surprised by this because of the fact that they’d used so much magic to make it happen. Magic tended to do things to food to make it better, even when that wasn’t asked of it. However, when they were asked about any secret ingredients, Crowley insisted that they had just used more butter or vanilla or sugar (depending on what it was) in the recipe to make it good. A number of people informed Crowley that he should open up a bakery because he would be phenomenal at it.  
Crowley knew this to be true. He could be good at anything he wanted to be, he was a demon after all. A demon who was, in human terms, dating an angel. The two of them together meant that they would be unstoppable in anything that they decided to do together. However, he knew that in order for him to open up a bakery with the angel, he would have to ask Aziraphale to close the shop. Even the best humans wouldn’t be able to handle running two businesses at once. The angel might have been able to handle it, especially with how few sales the bookshop ended up getting, but he knew that they had to keep up appearances. Especially with how well known the names of Crowley and Fell were in the area.  
He could, of course, always go at it alone. But he didn’t want to do that either. The main reason he even liked baking to begin with was because he loved doing it with Aziraphale. If he were to open up his own place without Aziraphale, he would get stuck with all of the work of owning a business without any of the fun as to why he would have opened it in the first place.  
As a compromise to the community, the A. Z. Fell and Co. bookshop hosted a city wide bake sale once per month, weather permitting. This gave Crowley all of what he would have wanted in a bakery with none of the stress.  
Besides, he quite liked not having a full time job.

**Author's Note:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon


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